Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
