I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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