have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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