No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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