I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
smell my finger.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
