I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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