This is not my ceiling
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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