NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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