i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
