Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
