She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
