I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
