So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
