And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
