Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
