bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
