dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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