he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
