I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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