Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
