There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
