Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
