I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i think i just lost a toe
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
