god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
