so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
