'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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