Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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