so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Porn is love you can see.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
