Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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