Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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