Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
