i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
