I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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