its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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