great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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