Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
