Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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