I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
