I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
