It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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