There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
