I looked at my own cervix.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
