She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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