he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Fuck appropriateness.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
