According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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