ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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