I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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