Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
