ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
