puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
