(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
