I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
